So I learned early that "being good" and "being useful" were the bargaining chips with which I bought safety and "love."
But that wasn't all of it...
I learned the worst (and only) thing a kid can learn in that situation:
That "Something is wrong with me."
So I carried that into everything...
Every job.
Every place I entered.
And every relationship I found myself in.
Workaholism, alcohol, substances...
Depression.
Anxiety.
And dating plenty of women who matched the chaos I grew up in!
See, back in my 20's I used to pay $387/month to share a small apartment with 6 roommates, eating pasta and tuna every night to stay within budget, while dating people who were (also) drowning.
Because I believed that was all I deserved.
I over-functioned in relationships just to feel worthy of love
and neglected my needs, my boundaries and desires to try and keep it...
That's what a mother wound does.
It's not some "trauma" that lives in the past, but a living energy that stays in your body and makes every decision for you.
Who you date.
What you charge.
Where you live.
How much love you let in.
How small you stay.
Now, maybe yours doesn't look like mine.
Maybe your mom was not violent.
Maybe she was cold.
Or critical.
Or she loved you, but it always felt like you had to earn it.
Maybe she was just too overwhelmed and you ended up becoming her parent by the age of 10!
The stories change but the wound is the same.
In fact, The Mother Wound is also the wound of belonging, for our mother is also our territory.
So you may feel like no matter how much you travel or where you go, you can't set roots.
No place is good enough.
No partner is good enough.
Because deep down..
you don't feel good enough.
So you over-give.
You people-please.
You attract people who take and take..
(and wonder why you feel empty?!)
You undercharge, overdeliver, and feel guilty when something good happens.
Like deep down you don't deserve it.
I know because that was my life for years..
and because of that I spent over two decades healing this wound.
Dozens of ayahuasca and kambo ceremonies, family constellations, thousands of meditation hours and long nights of hard conversations until I finally arrived at love.
For her.
And above all,
for myself.
Today I live in a nature paradise in Colombia.
I've made in a day what I used to in a year.
I left a marriage where I often felt alone and became available for healthier intimacy.
I've been doing this work for over 14 years.
Helped thousands of people.
(636 last year alone.)
So now I'm offering it in a 2-hour live workshop, so you can take a solid step forward, without years of therapy or spiritual fluff.
We just opened up the doors and 78+ people already joined.
โโ [SAVE MY SEAT]โ
(We have limited seats for this one, so if the link does not work it means we've reached capacity.)
With you on the path,
Nico Canon
๐๐ฝ
โ