Lessons from my Divorce

Words I'm sitting with:

🔥Fireside Chat: The Main Lesson (from my divorce)

Last year, my wife and I separated.

If you follow me on Instagram, you may have already known that.

I have not shared much about it.

Until now.

So since it's been one of my greatest initiations and it's taught me more than any Ayahuasca ceremony, I wanted to share the golden nuggets with you.

My elder used to hold my shoulder, as we sat by the fire, and say "Don't you see it? The fruits of the tree are never for the tree to eat."

Meaning that the wisdom that results from the work, the pain and the challenges we face, is not for us to hoard.

After all, it isn't a 'gift' unless (and until) it is 'given'.

So here is The Main Lesson Separation Taught Me:

Truth is Love

Looking back I see our separation not as the result of one big, bad thing but as the accumulation of thousands of little ones.

Every moment I withheld my true feelings in order to "keep the peace" (thinking I was being loving when in fact I was just afraid.)

Every moment she tolerated my nonsense in order to "be a good, understanding wife" (thinking that compassion at her own expense was a sign of devotion.)

Every conversation we avoided.

Every painful truth we brushed under the carpet.

Every tension we turned a blind eye to..

We did it out of love.

We wanted to show kindness to each other's darkness and commitment no matter what.

Sounds beautiful on paper, doesn't it?

But the road to hell is paved with good intentions.

The good news is that truth ALWAYS comes up.

You can count on that.

I learned that my silence was not an act of kindness but one of cowardice.

I learned that my avoidance did not keep the peace, it just brought the violence inwards.

I learned that the lies I told to sustain love were the very seeds that ended up destroying it.

Because love cannot flourish in the realm of fantasy.

I cannot love another's potential because it does not exist.

And another cannot love my masks, for they are not the real me.

Love can only happen in THIS moment, embracing all that is real.

So every time I turn my eyes away from something I know to be wrong, every time I ignore my gut feelings and every time I choose silence over a difficult conversation...

Love dies.

Because any form of "love" that requires self-abandonment is nothing but co-dependency wearing the mask of romance.

Truth can be painful but at least it is real.

And love must be built on 'real' if it's meant to last.

Because silence kills far more relationships than speaking the truth ever would.

But if telling the truth of our heart and addressing the difficult conversations lead to the end of a relationship

That relationship should end.

Because that which can be destroyed by the truth,

should be.

With you on the path,

Nicolas

🙏🏽

PS: The first step is to recognize the patterns that run your life, but the most important one is to heal them. We have one last spot available in our upcoming "Way of Fire" Ayahuasca Retreat next month in Colombia. Click Here for more details.

🤿 Deep Dive (Master Prompt of the week)

Go to Forged* and insert the following prompt:

I want to uncover the truths I've been avoiding in my relationships and life. Here's a situation where I may be choosing comfort over honesty. [Describe the relationship or situation in detail. Where do you feel tension you're not addressing? What do you fear talking about and with whom? What do you already know deep down but haven't said out loud? why?]

Based on this please create two tables.

Table 1: The Silence Audit On the X axis label: The Truth I'm Avoiding, The "Loving" Story I Tell Myself, What It's Actually Costing Me. On the Y axis list 5 specific truths I may be withholding or suppressing based on what I've shared. Be specific and direct.

Table 2: The Pattern Beneath the Pattern On the X axis label: Recurring Pattern, Where Else This Shows Up, The Deeper Fear Driving It. On the Y axis identify 3 patterns that connect my avoidance in this situation to other areas of my life. Help me see how this isn't isolated but a way of being.

End with a short, direct message in the firm but loving tone of Nicolas Canon, calling me out in my smallness and challenging me to rise into my greatness.

[*Forged is the Free Ai coaching tool I built. Access it HERE ]

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DEEP DIVE

3 Reasons Women are Disconnected from their Feminine: Watch Instagram Reel: Death of the feminine​

Watch one of my most recent, viral instagram reels speaking on the twisted ideas of womanhood and femininity that the world faces today, and the truth about 'patriarchy' (hint: We have NEVER lived under a patriarchy, ever. Watch the video to understand.)

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